THE 6 DEGREES OF EXPLORATION, LIKE THE FAMOUS PEOPLE DO

I think it’s fair to say there are varying degrees of explorers when it comes to travel. Sir Edmund Hillary was a roughing-it kind of guy who endured terrible conditions to see parts of the world nobody outside the local community had seen, and report it back to the rest of the world. Modern explorer Bear Grylls famously endures a lot to make his tv shows. Passengers on the Orient Express or, in a modern context, the Seaborne Venture, are likely not the hardiest of explorers. Just sayin’.

To my sensibilities there are 6 basic types of travelers. Personally I find myself around halfway between hardier explorers like Michael Palin, the former member of Britain’s Monty Python comedy group, and the more genteel Stanley Tucci, who hosts a much more sedate - not luxurious - travel program on CNN. Here is my list of the six degrees of travel, with modern-day celebrity examples of each.

1 - The Rough and Rugged Explorers

Nowheresville

These are the people who put themselves at some risk to accomplish tasks. They blaze new trails.

Coffee guy Todd Carmichael was the first person to hike alone across Antarctica. That’s pretty damned impressive. Just shy of forty days across the continent, enduring sub-zero temperatures and all manner of natural challenges, this is a guy who seeks out challenging journeys and relishes them…once they’re done. I’m sure he’s not too thrilled while shivering uncontrollably in his tent five hundred miles from the nearest other human.

2 - The Out of the Way and Willing to Rough It Explorers 

Summiting Mt Fuji

The OOTWaWoRIEs are the people who put themselves at some risk to go find something interesting, away from the common travel. Hiking in the Andes, or camping on a remote beach on Borneo.  Usually these people are willing to rough it for a period of time, but are less committed to life-threatening adventures in uncontrolled conditions. One of the guests of Bear Grylls’ Running Wild program, for example. More rugged celebrities like Channing Tatum or Julianne Hough - both of whom have been guests on Grylls’ show 

- are an example of this category. Bear might be category 1, but these celebs, rough and rugged as they may be, aren’t quite the same category.

3 - Show Me the Adventure Explorers, and a Nice Dinner to Go Along With It 

The Dining Car, on Ice

This is probably my overall general category. I’m definitely down for a challenging and uncomfortable adventure - I’ve hiked in the Sierra Nevadas and through the California desert, crewed on an overnight sailboat race, and spent time in the cold watching polar bears at a remote scientific outpost - while I also have a real appreciation for the finer parts of travel (and I find myself drifting in that latter direction as I age, and even enjoying categories 4 and 5 depending on the destination). 

I think of tv adventure guy Josh Gates in this category. Yes, he’s hiked through the jungles of South America and gone hunting for the abominable snowman in the Himalayas, but you never really get the impression that it’s genuinely a life endangering situation (though accidents have happened). He’s more about getting off the beaten path and finding something interesting and different along the way. And maybe dinner at a nice restaurant once you get back into town. TV host and author Phil Koeghan falls somewhere between 2 and 3.

4 - Campfires and S’Mores Travelers  

Glamping

There’s nothing like pulling into a campground, setting up the tent and starting a small campfire. Telling ghost stories as the sun goes down and snuggling into a warm down sleeping back. And after a couple of days finding a nice medium-range hotel to shower and get a decent meal. Yes, you’re around nature and enjoying being away from the big city, but let’s be honest, a good bottle of wine and making s’mores is a great way to spend the evening. On a Larger, more exploration level we call this “Glamping.” There’s the illusion of being remote, but we kinda like the trappings of civilization along with us. My wife and I have spent a few trips up to Northern California’s Safari West encampment where we spent several days in relatively luxurious safari tents and ate just down the hill the facility’s rugged kitchen. There’s no real exploration involved, just the experience of clamping surrounded by wild animals in secure pens. Celebrities such as South African tv presenter Jeannie D and actress Kristen Bell and husband Dax Sheppard come to mind.  

5 - Give Me the Modern Conveniences Traveler

This person doesn’t really like roughing it, except maybe occasionally. Like the Holiday Inn, that's pretty rough. 

Hey, there's a great bistro down this way

They prefer a small inn or moderately-priced hotel somewhere convenient to restaurants, attractions, and maybe a natural wonder or two. These people stay at nice places in interesting parts of town, or maybe in a national park. If they’re in town, make it an interesting part of town that they can walk, maybe do some shopping and definitely a good food/pub neighborhood. Something local, not ostentatious, but a place to plug in that hair dryer and a good bed. The above-mentioned Stanley Tucci is definitely this sort of traveler. Much more comfortable in a city scene with local fare and a good martini.

6 - "Oh Buffy, Be a Dear and Point Me to the Spa, Please..."

Martinis and Champagne

Okay, that's a little dismissive, and to be honest I enjoy the occasional over-indulgence. Who wouldn't? These people are about luxury, luxury, luxury. All Lux, all the time.

Fine restaurants, a good massage, and perfectly mixed cocktail. Any nature we see should be from our balcony and maybe from the Bentley as it leaves the hotel. Five star resorts all the way, baby! And if we’re sailing, make sure the yacht has a wide tanning deck and the wait staff to go with it. Yeah, Jeannie D falls into this category as well, as do pure lux celebrities like the Kardassians, Usher, and George Clooney.

So those are the 6 Degrees of Celebrity travel, with a lot of nuance in between. Which category are you - though, like me, you probably change it up depending on your mood. I’ll admit, I’ve been in five of the six. I’ve just never been tempted to hike across Antarctica alone.

That’s just crazy.

REVIEW, ROYAL PRINCESS (SO FAR)

My mother always told me to start out any constructive criticism with a positive.

Likewise, years later a writing instructor of mine also gave that very sage advice.

++++++++++++++

I am midway through an eleven night cruise which goes from Los Angeles to Alaska's Inside Passage. Stops include Juneau, Skagway and Ketchikan...and originally included an extended stay in Victoria, British Columbia. (A lot more about that momentarily.)

Our stops in Ketchikan and Juneau, after three very long days at sea, were spectacular and fun. The weather cooperated for the most part and the excursions we selected - on through the ship, and one on our own - were full of adventure and wonderful sights and people. More about one and possibly both these excursions in the future.

The shipboard experience has been a mixed bag. On the plus side the cabin steward is excellent. His name is Rene and he is a beacon of light every morning and afternoon, always cheery and ready with a smile, and the cabin is well cleaned and appointed after he gets through.

Likewise, we can strongly compliment the ship's entertainers. The musicians of the ship's band are excellent, and feature not only terrific showcase talents, but have demonstrated considerable strength in jazz, which to us is the ultimate measure of a musician's chops.

The production show, entitled Encore, was spectacular by regular show standards, above and beyond shipboard experiences. The singers were uniformly excellent and the musicians, as noted, exceptional. The set was impressive, and well used choreographically.

So...kudos to the Royal Princess and Princess lines.

Now the bad stuff, and it's bad.

First, the cancellation of one of our four stopovers. 25% of the onshore activities. It deserves mention not only for the loss of the visit, but the cruise line's reaction to it.

Apparently at some point in the recent past a bit of equipment was lost at sea during a storm. It impacted the scheduled completion of a new cruise ship dock in Victoria, BC, the only international destination of the trip. (This becomes important a little below.)

Things happen, and I am understanding. Particularly if the cruise line acknowledges the failure and moves to make amends. In this case, nothing. Crickets. The Captain explained the issue, but no apparent attempt was made to reroute the ship. (Vancouver and Seattle are both easily available ports and can accommodate a large ship like the Royal Princess.) Nor was there any mention of simply tender the visitors ashore. The designation was canceled, with little more comment from the cruise line.

Well, not exactly.

For some reason, completely unexplained, we are still putting in to the port. The dock prevents them from allowing any of the guests to go ashore, but we're still putting in. My guess it's solely for the purpose of operating the casino, but it's strictly a guess.

A cynical disservice to the passengers if that's the case. For some reason - despite the complete blockage of access to Canadian land - we passengers are still being forced to file customs documents for the Canadian government.

Which, of course, means we have to endure customs when we return to Los Angeles, despite the fact that the cruise line forbids us to leave the ship in the sole international port.

By comparison, if you're flying domestically and land in an airport strictly for transit, you do not go through customs. You may even change planes, but you will still not be required to go through customs, even if that stopover is international. In fact, that would constitute a HIGHLY unusual decision by the airline.

So, again, I must conclude that the sole reason for the ship to dock is to be able to open the casino. The disservice and inconvenience to guests is secondary to the profit motive, it appears. The same results could have been received had the ship detoured to Vancouver or tendered us into Victoria, but our pleasure was evidently never considered. Or was considered and discarded.

Unacceptable. As of yet no one on the ship has given me a satisfactory response.

Which brings me to my second major criticism (I gave two examples of good things above): the demeanor of a number of the staff, particularly in the restaurants, is surprisingly grumpy. I have seen a waiter roll his eyes after another table in one restaurant asked for something. The same waiter seemed abrupt with us when taking the order and delivering the food.

A woman behind the coffee service counter on Deck 6, who I presumed to be the supervisor, was distinctly angry with an elderly guest who accidentally spilled cream once counter. He younger companion tried to jest to lighten the mood and received an icy stare as a result.

A third example was when my wife and I arrived at the main dining room for dinner our second night. We had selected the anytime dining option. The maitre 'd "instructed" us that we were entering on the wrong side (there are entries on both sides of the ship) and we had to go back out, cross the ship and enter from THAT side.

Okay, fine. It could've been handled more pleasantly, but when we presented ourselves on the starboard (and correct) entry we were escorted to a table not fifty feet from the port-side entrance to the restaurant. Absurdity in action.

In each case the staff were inconvenienced by the guests. I get that. But the worst possible result would be for the guests to feel that they WERE putting the hosts out. It made us, and several other passengers, feel unwelcome. And as I have talked to other passengers I'm finding that the experience is not uncommon. One woman remarked this was her eighth Princess cruise and was by far the rudest restaurant staff she'd ever encountered.

Sadly, this was our first. And may be our last, should things not improve dramatically.

Stay tuned.

WELL, TIME I CAME BACK TO WHAT I LOVE

Hello again. It's been a while. After the loss of Anthony Bourdain, and quite a few things/changes in my personal life I drifted away from posting on this blog.

But I'm back, and planning a few extra-0special things over the next few months. Hoping my regular crowd finds me again, and welcomes some of the new projects/re-envigorated projects I have under way.

Over the last few years my life has gone through at-times reaching changes. I think that's been pretty universal, so I'm not claiming exclusivity to challenging times, just noting that it took a lot of attention away from writing, in particular. This blog, my travel blog, and most importantly my book on martinis.

Which, as it turns out, is a good thing.

My original concept for CHASING MARTINIS, as anyone who has read the chapters I've posted here will recognize, is evolving. Originally it was to be a simple photo book of martinis I've consumed around the world. Pictures like these, with short, possibly pithy write-ups about the drinks and the destinations.

Lahaina, Maui

Washington, DC

London, UK

Boise, ID

Not a bad idea, but kind of narrow.

Vegas, baby!

So, times changed and I found my interest in not only martinis but mixology in general was growing. My wife made the suggestion that perhaps I ought to seek out formal training and become certified as a bartender. I did, getting that certification from the National Bartending School, which features the most intensive training and certification program I have yet seen. (100 hours, plus ten individual skills examinations and a fairly extensive written test.)

Antigua, Guatemala

I then parlayed that into a job at a national wine and spirits
company which offers employees additional certification. After eight months I certified with them as a spirits expert, further earning my credentials. Not only can I conduct a fairly authoritative discussion on gin and vodka, two essentials in the making of a credible martini, but am equally proficient in whiskies, rums and brandies, and all of the associated cordials, mixers and ingredients necessary for a skilled mixologist and consultant.

Sydney, Australia

In the meantime I've designed a dozen new or revised drinks, and had three of them added to the app for a tequila company I am pleased to consider a partner.

Over the past few years I've also taken tours of several distilleries, reinforcing the distillation process knowledge I'm building. A good portion of the company's certification exam involves the distillation of the various liquors and liqueurs, so a better than passing knowledge is helpful.

The distilleries which stood out for me are: Loch & Union, a fantastic gin distillery in the Napa Valley; Hali'imaile, a multiple-spirits distillery on Maui best known for their Pau Maui vodka (which is delicious); Hanson of Sonoma, at the southern end of the Sonoma Valley and nearby neighbor of L&U; and The Kentucky Artisan Distillery in Kentucky, best known for their Jefferson's bourbons.

And in a few weeks I expect to add a set of Alaskan small-batch distilleries to the mix.

Loch & Union

Hali'imaile

All those things, plus an intended certification as a wine expert, give me a fairly extensive knowledge of the wine and spirits industry. (Beer is still a well-off endeavor. A known weakness in my skillsets.)

And that, in turn, has informed my approach to the book.

Earlier this year noted mixologist Shannon Mustipher published the book Tiki: Modern Tropical Cocktails . It's a terrific reference, containing not only a detailed history of the tiki-style of drinks, but an extensive back section about the various ingredients and elements of making a terrific tiki-style drink. Some parts mixology, other parts technology, and other parts history. Highly recommended.

Her book has changed some of the ways I want to approach the martini. I want to make it an exciting book, full of information and background, anecdotes and quotes. Over the next three weeks I expect to put the finishing touches on a new draft, and then began working towards getting it out to publishers.

It, like me, is a work in progress. But, unlike me, it will be finished soon. Me, I plan to keep on growing and having fun.

And now that I'm back, you'll be able to read about it here.


Steve Barber is a noted specialist on the Martini. He is a multiply certified expert in mixology, distillation, history and the liquor industry.

Cheers!

Rest In Peace

MARTINI CROSSING

You have your artwork, I have mine.

TROPICANA

Martini from the legendary Tropicana Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas.

THE BOPTINI

We invented this drink some years ago for an annual Jazz Angels education fundraiser originally named Boplicity, now called Jazz on the Patio.

The Boptini

1 1/2 oz Vodka

1 1/2 oz cranberry juice

1 oz 7-Up (or Sprite)

Splash of lime juice

Ice in a shaker, stir (do NOT shake!) ingredients and strain into martini glass.

Lime side car.