REVIEW, ROYAL PRINCESS (SO FAR)

My mother always told me to start out any constructive criticism with a positive.

Likewise, years later a writing instructor of mine also gave that very sage advice.

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I am midway through an eleven night cruise which goes from Los Angeles to Alaska's Inside Passage. Stops include Juneau, Skagway and Ketchikan...and originally included an extended stay in Victoria, British Columbia. (A lot more about that momentarily.)

Our stops in Ketchikan and Juneau, after three very long days at sea, were spectacular and fun. The weather cooperated for the most part and the excursions we selected - on through the ship, and one on our own - were full of adventure and wonderful sights and people. More about one and possibly both these excursions in the future.

The shipboard experience has been a mixed bag. On the plus side the cabin steward is excellent. His name is Rene and he is a beacon of light every morning and afternoon, always cheery and ready with a smile, and the cabin is well cleaned and appointed after he gets through.

Likewise, we can strongly compliment the ship's entertainers. The musicians of the ship's band are excellent, and feature not only terrific showcase talents, but have demonstrated considerable strength in jazz, which to us is the ultimate measure of a musician's chops.

The production show, entitled Encore, was spectacular by regular show standards, above and beyond shipboard experiences. The singers were uniformly excellent and the musicians, as noted, exceptional. The set was impressive, and well used choreographically.

So...kudos to the Royal Princess and Princess lines.

Now the bad stuff, and it's bad.

First, the cancellation of one of our four stopovers. 25% of the onshore activities. It deserves mention not only for the loss of the visit, but the cruise line's reaction to it.

Apparently at some point in the recent past a bit of equipment was lost at sea during a storm. It impacted the scheduled completion of a new cruise ship dock in Victoria, BC, the only international destination of the trip. (This becomes important a little below.)

Things happen, and I am understanding. Particularly if the cruise line acknowledges the failure and moves to make amends. In this case, nothing. Crickets. The Captain explained the issue, but no apparent attempt was made to reroute the ship. (Vancouver and Seattle are both easily available ports and can accommodate a large ship like the Royal Princess.) Nor was there any mention of simply tender the visitors ashore. The designation was canceled, with little more comment from the cruise line.

Well, not exactly.

For some reason, completely unexplained, we are still putting in to the port. The dock prevents them from allowing any of the guests to go ashore, but we're still putting in. My guess it's solely for the purpose of operating the casino, but it's strictly a guess.

A cynical disservice to the passengers if that's the case. For some reason - despite the complete blockage of access to Canadian land - we passengers are still being forced to file customs documents for the Canadian government.

Which, of course, means we have to endure customs when we return to Los Angeles, despite the fact that the cruise line forbids us to leave the ship in the sole international port.

By comparison, if you're flying domestically and land in an airport strictly for transit, you do not go through customs. You may even change planes, but you will still not be required to go through customs, even if that stopover is international. In fact, that would constitute a HIGHLY unusual decision by the airline.

So, again, I must conclude that the sole reason for the ship to dock is to be able to open the casino. The disservice and inconvenience to guests is secondary to the profit motive, it appears. The same results could have been received had the ship detoured to Vancouver or tendered us into Victoria, but our pleasure was evidently never considered. Or was considered and discarded.

Unacceptable. As of yet no one on the ship has given me a satisfactory response.

Which brings me to my second major criticism (I gave two examples of good things above): the demeanor of a number of the staff, particularly in the restaurants, is surprisingly grumpy. I have seen a waiter roll his eyes after another table in one restaurant asked for something. The same waiter seemed abrupt with us when taking the order and delivering the food.

A woman behind the coffee service counter on Deck 6, who I presumed to be the supervisor, was distinctly angry with an elderly guest who accidentally spilled cream once counter. He younger companion tried to jest to lighten the mood and received an icy stare as a result.

A third example was when my wife and I arrived at the main dining room for dinner our second night. We had selected the anytime dining option. The maitre 'd "instructed" us that we were entering on the wrong side (there are entries on both sides of the ship) and we had to go back out, cross the ship and enter from THAT side.

Okay, fine. It could've been handled more pleasantly, but when we presented ourselves on the starboard (and correct) entry we were escorted to a table not fifty feet from the port-side entrance to the restaurant. Absurdity in action.

In each case the staff were inconvenienced by the guests. I get that. But the worst possible result would be for the guests to feel that they WERE putting the hosts out. It made us, and several other passengers, feel unwelcome. And as I have talked to other passengers I'm finding that the experience is not uncommon. One woman remarked this was her eighth Princess cruise and was by far the rudest restaurant staff she'd ever encountered.

Sadly, this was our first. And may be our last, should things not improve dramatically.

Stay tuned.

WELL, TIME I CAME BACK TO WHAT I LOVE

Hello again. It's been a while. After the loss of Anthony Bourdain, and quite a few things/changes in my personal life I drifted away from posting on this blog.

But I'm back, and planning a few extra-0special things over the next few months. Hoping my regular crowd finds me again, and welcomes some of the new projects/re-envigorated projects I have under way.

Over the last few years my life has gone through at-times reaching changes. I think that's been pretty universal, so I'm not claiming exclusivity to challenging times, just noting that it took a lot of attention away from writing, in particular. This blog, my travel blog, and most importantly my book on martinis.

Which, as it turns out, is a good thing.

My original concept for CHASING MARTINIS, as anyone who has read the chapters I've posted here will recognize, is evolving. Originally it was to be a simple photo book of martinis I've consumed around the world. Pictures like these, with short, possibly pithy write-ups about the drinks and the destinations.

Lahaina, Maui

Washington, DC

London, UK

Boise, ID

Not a bad idea, but kind of narrow.

Vegas, baby!

So, times changed and I found my interest in not only martinis but mixology in general was growing. My wife made the suggestion that perhaps I ought to seek out formal training and become certified as a bartender. I did, getting that certification from the National Bartending School, which features the most intensive training and certification program I have yet seen. (100 hours, plus ten individual skills examinations and a fairly extensive written test.)

Antigua, Guatemala

I then parlayed that into a job at a national wine and spirits
company which offers employees additional certification. After eight months I certified with them as a spirits expert, further earning my credentials. Not only can I conduct a fairly authoritative discussion on gin and vodka, two essentials in the making of a credible martini, but am equally proficient in whiskies, rums and brandies, and all of the associated cordials, mixers and ingredients necessary for a skilled mixologist and consultant.

Sydney, Australia

In the meantime I've designed a dozen new or revised drinks, and had three of them added to the app for a tequila company I am pleased to consider a partner.

Over the past few years I've also taken tours of several distilleries, reinforcing the distillation process knowledge I'm building. A good portion of the company's certification exam involves the distillation of the various liquors and liqueurs, so a better than passing knowledge is helpful.

The distilleries which stood out for me are: Loch & Union, a fantastic gin distillery in the Napa Valley; Hali'imaile, a multiple-spirits distillery on Maui best known for their Pau Maui vodka (which is delicious); Hanson of Sonoma, at the southern end of the Sonoma Valley and nearby neighbor of L&U; and The Kentucky Artisan Distillery in Kentucky, best known for their Jefferson's bourbons.

And in a few weeks I expect to add a set of Alaskan small-batch distilleries to the mix.

Loch & Union

Hali'imaile

All those things, plus an intended certification as a wine expert, give me a fairly extensive knowledge of the wine and spirits industry. (Beer is still a well-off endeavor. A known weakness in my skillsets.)

And that, in turn, has informed my approach to the book.

Earlier this year noted mixologist Shannon Mustipher published the book Tiki: Modern Tropical Cocktails . It's a terrific reference, containing not only a detailed history of the tiki-style of drinks, but an extensive back section about the various ingredients and elements of making a terrific tiki-style drink. Some parts mixology, other parts technology, and other parts history. Highly recommended.

Her book has changed some of the ways I want to approach the martini. I want to make it an exciting book, full of information and background, anecdotes and quotes. Over the next three weeks I expect to put the finishing touches on a new draft, and then began working towards getting it out to publishers.

It, like me, is a work in progress. But, unlike me, it will be finished soon. Me, I plan to keep on growing and having fun.

And now that I'm back, you'll be able to read about it here.


Steve Barber is a noted specialist on the Martini. He is a multiply certified expert in mixology, distillation, history and the liquor industry.

Cheers!